If You Would Only...You'd Be Dangerous!

Ever hear that term..."If You Would Only Blah, Blah, Blah...You'd Be Dangerous!"? If you could only peer into my Man Cave and see the time, money and dedication spent on perfecting my video gaming experience...It's the perfect example of "placed energy". Oh, I get the "Wow!"s and the "OMG"s and it feels good. The room is painted in grey / blue and the ceiling is black, furniture is black, the carpet is dark grey and there are collectible action figures everywhere. Honestly, it's like that ultimate teenager's dream room. The key to my success in being in my 30's and having a room like this without ridicule (to my face anyway) is that it stops at the Cave entrance and does not extend into my home. In the house, normalcy prevails and you wouldn't even know my Cave existed. (Minus the “MAN CAVE” entrance sign, ahem.) But I recently discovered it just isn't ME anymore. Sure the dark and perplexing entrance, decorated by fake rock and extensive, artful content on the walls is a part of me. And, I get excited by the fact that it's always ice cold in there and exactly what I've always wanted. But, it's time for an overhaul. In fact, the origin of this post points back to the Title. The amount of time I spend gaming, network remapping and making sure everything is perfect before I game is...Well ask my wife - Total obsessive compulsive. I can't relax.

I watched my Dad sit in his recliner and watch the news and football as if the CRT was a transmitter and sending a message from the Holy Land. It was as if it was currently beaming the energy of God’s Heavenly Kingdom right into his body and was the main source for the fabled Fountain of Youth. Not to smack-talk my Pop but this stuff sticks with a kid. I rebelled, big time. Even today TV is not a Time Burglar for me. I cancelled cable at my house and kept the high-speed connection. They wanted $7 more dollars per month for a service my wife and I hardly used, so it was cut. We never looked back…Thanks to Netflix.

Now, that’s not a contradiction. We watch a little TV during dinner because of my hopeless insistence to do so. Since I can remember, that was dinner time. If not on a TV tray, 5 feet in front of the TV, then at the big dinner table…15 feet away from the TV with a perfectly clear view. Growing up - Grandpa’s house, friend’s houses and my house…Dinner = TV Time!

For the last 7 years I’ve completely lost my desire to watch TV shows. We do for filler and because I’m addicted to watching something while I eat, but otherwise TV is so boring…Compared to the highly intensive, competitive world of Video Gaming.

The eyes roll, the scowls of women-folk intensify with the mention of it, but the truth is, it WILL replace TV someday, just wait. Allow me to paint the picture before thee passes judgment:

Men want action. Men want adventure. Men want explosions, guns and menacing vehicles. Men want to conquer, pillage, plunder, build, destroy, jump, grapple, punch, leap, kick, detonate, rule, command, launch, dominate, score, win, laugh, snipe, run and respawn. Oh yes, men at the most simplistic, neurological level exist to spawn…And respawn as often as possible. - Simple terms for simple creatures.

TV Sports Viewing is to Video Gaming as Shoots ‘N Ladders is to…Video Gaming. The guys that roll their eyes to that statement fit nicely into two categories:

1.      Dude number 1, you suck at video games. You don’t get it because you can’t make it happen. The hand/ eye coordination just isn’t there. So what’s the next evolution of THAT mechanism? - Ridicule. You suck, so it’s LAME that people are “wasting their lives gaming”. If you were a natural, highly-skilled player it would take just one game for you to become an advocate and fan. You would see that, yes, spending time doing something you are highly skilled at is fun and rewarding.

When did Life-force become “wasted” if a human being is experiencing things otherwise impossible? A gamer lives the life of an adventurer - Although it is virtual, it can be argued that scientifically, the mind doesn’t know the difference. “Today, I infiltrated a CIA Office building and stopped an evil plot. I saved a million lives from a corrupt agent that was going to blow up a bomb.” Sure, I was sitting comfortably in a chair while doing so...But look it up! My brain didn’t know the difference! Take Joe Vital for instance, He’s built an empire on the recent study that proves that the human brain can not differentiate between most virtual reality experiences and “real” ones. I’ll be doing a write up on that soon as well. http://www.mrfire.com/

2.      Dude number two, your woman says “NO!” Oh man, there are so many of you guys out there. You sit and watch HOURS and HOURS of sports and Dancing with The Stars and you ridicule Video Gamers?? Buddy, you’re the one on the sidelines and your chick wears your sack like a trophy / necklace. As soon as you are single or grow a pair, come see why millions of grown, professional men have replaced Poker Night and Strip Clubs with Game Night. We balance work, house-work, wife time, kid time and everything else with this new replacement for brainless television.

Keep pumping your money into the multi-billion dollar sports machine and watch them continuously go on strike and trade from team to team to team in an endless, greedy loop. OR, be part of a global team for yourself! Call the shots, climb to the top and be feared! You laugh? You haven’t experienced it if so. There is a real rivalry and fear mechanism in online gaming. Don’t roll your eyes, come get some!

With that statement, I guess there is a third category. The “I’m a real B.A. in life and I’ll fight you for realz” guy. The whole, “Video Games are for geeks and dweebs.” And, “Real men obliterate their livers in a seedy bar every weeknight and tell B.S. stories about how many people they’ve “fought” and “nearly killed”. Well, you suck because, no, you won’t fight us. You’re all talk. You can’t actually take on more than one or two guys in a fight and would be sued to kingdom come for fighting anyway. Plus, arrested and fined. You won’t be fighting any one, any time, any where, and you won’t be driving your truck through anyone’s living room so just stop with the empty threats and get online to blow off some steam, it works. If you honestly believe you WILL fight any one, any time, any where then you are a obviously a troglodyte and should not try to work the mouse and keyboard for long since the scientists will need you back in your cage shortly for further testing! Run Monkey Man! Rrrruuuuuuuuuunnnn!!

With all of that said…I am turning over a new leaf. A Cave redesign, stricter play schedule and more intense focus on some of my projects is in order. I mentioned balance. The intensity of the game can consume…The next victory is right around the corner…But I’ve recently discovered that if I DO put my mind to writing, app creation, art, music production or any other project I have in my brain I will be dangerous.